The Prai Diaries (1)

12 Dec 2009:
Took the early train to Ipoh, to meet up with my dad and then head off to Prai together. The train ride provided me with what i thought were two extremes of humanities:

Extreme 1
Elderly Chinese man (ECM) walks into the coach i was in, wandering around aimlessly looking for his seat. He approaches an elderly Indian man (EIM), who was reading the Bible. ECM (ever so politely) hands over ticket and asks EIM to help him find his seat. EIM hurriedly puts down Bible, reads ticket and points ECM to his seat.

Couldn't help but grin a little. "There's hope in humanity afterall," i thought.

Extreme 2
Train arrived at the Ipoh station after 3 hours or so. At the station, i saw a kind-ish Indian man (KIM) leading a blind Chinese man (BCM) into the station and to the counter. KIM led BCM to the ticketing counter and left him to talk to the railway staff, to presumably buy a train ticket. BCM was babbling loudly to himself, so staff member at the counter just ignored him. BCM then starts walking around aimlessly without his cane.

Enter poor naive Chinese woman (PNCW). PNCW tries to lead BCM's hands to the counter so BCM had something to hold on to. BCM then starts taking out a book from a plastic bag he was holding and made a sales pitch to PNCW. PNCW looked embarassed and guilty. She ended up forking out 10 bucks for the book (wasn't close enough to hear/see what it was). And to top it all off, she lost her place in the queue and had to go to the back of the line.

Got to Prai later that evening to look at 2 apartments - one recommended by dad's contacts, the other by the HR guy from the company i'm gonna be working for. So we went to the first apartment, and my heart sunk. The floors for each room were just cement whereas the hall's was tiled. The rooms were without fans. One of the rooms didn't even have a single plug point! The whole place reminded me of my budget place in Melbourne. Plus the guy renting the place out had an uneasy aura about him.

So on to the second apartment. Met up with the HR-recommended guy, and so we followed him to the apartment. When he lead us back to the same block of apartments as the one we first saw, my face turned ashen. I remember thinking, "Melbourne all over again". But then he brought us to a different unit, which looked waaay better than the first one. Essentially they were the same, just that this one's cleaner, has fans in each room, and is tiled all over. Just to show how small little things do make a whole lot of difference. So i'm gonna stay there now.

Got back to Ipoh the same night, had the famous nga choy chicken or something. After a long day, got back to dad's apartment and almost instantly fell asleep. That was 11 something at night.


13 Dec 2009:
Woke up at 3.30, couldn't get back to sleep. Did some push ups, sit ups, and stretches. Had a game at 12, so i thought since i couldn't sleep, might as well stretch and get pumped up and ready.

Scored 3 points.

So i'm goin..

First off, a mini-celebration - i've graduated! I think. Passed my final 2 subjects, so i guess you can call me Mr. Engineer. Not too loud though, 'cause i'm not that good an engineer. I guess the overwhelming feeling would be relief more than anything, 'cause of my well-documented struggles. But then again, i'm also grateful and -dare i say it- proud of myself for actually completing a course that was painfully obvious not my cup of tea. But i did it, albeit a little belatedly. So a big yay for me.

So now that that part of my life is over, on to the next one - employment. Long story cut short, i am now employed. Three interview stages and a few phone calls later, i find myself receiving an offer letter from the company. The offer's pretty standard; medical, dental, period of employment. But the pay is pretty good for a fresh graduate in the current market. There is a catch of course. I'll be working in Prai, Penang.

"Where the f**k is Prai?" a friend asked. Well, it's in Penang. Not the fun part of Penang (the island) but mainland Penang. Granted i've never been there so i don't know if it's really that bad. What i know is that they've got a megamall and a Giant. So that should be fun right? That's where (i presume) everyone's gonna hang out.

"Hey where we goin tonight?"

"Let's hang at the Prai megamall dude"

Met with a lot of skepticism when i told friends that i'm going. I know i could find a job here, with a decent enough pay and i can live at home which means no expenses incurred. Believe me, i know. I was all ready to reject the offer when it came. Why would i want to go somewhere i've never been, to a place where i don't know anyone, and leave behind all i have here - family, friends, basketball, the urban life? Plus there are some people i want to meet but haven't gotten the chance to yet.

Then my parents came into the picture and suddenly the whole thing became a case of sensibility vs emotions. Maybe i'm too easily influenced by them, but my parents convinced me that the job is a good one, and that i'd be passing over a good career move if i were to decline the offer. There was also the fact that i couldn't really come up with a good enough response when i was asked why i wouldn't want to go.

So now that the dust's settled, i'm going to Prai. Possibly for 2 years. Or more. There have been fears that things would be like they were in Australia. It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't really the best time of my life. But i'm keeping an open mind, making jokes and just trying to be positive about it all. What's the point of going there feeling all morose and making things worse. Why not just smile, go in positive and maybe, just maybe, good things can come out of it?

Before i leave, i'm trying to enjoy the company of friends as much as i can. I did say that i'd try to come back every week, but you know how that's gonna end don't you. So if you're reading this and we haven't met up, let's. Before i become an honorary Penang-ite. Hardy har har.

You can't always get what you want

It's been a week since i had my last paper (again i stress, hopefully). Which also means it's been a week of unemployment. On one hand, i'm pretty relaxed - going to bed at 5 (am) and waking up at 3 (pm), going out for yamcha's, not studying, basically just bumming around. On the flipside, i feel like a bum. Getting poorer by the minute, bored by the lack of activities, waiting anxiously for phone calls screaming "Congrats, you got the job!" then rejecting the job just 'cause i can. In my dreams.

The saving grace has been basketball, which brings me at least some joy. The need to throw the ball into a ring gives me indescribable satisfaction. Which brings me to my moment of self bragging of the week: i achieved my (basketball) career high last Sunday by scoring a whopping 12 points! I know. That is in spite of me being called for travelling at least 3 times when i went for an open layup and shooting an airball from about a yard off the ring. But that's besides the point. Point is i got 12 points. All from layups and free throws. It's sad i know. But a high's a high.

Anyhoo, i had to prepare this presentation for an internship position i applied for. Why an internship? 'Cause i can't get a proper job. And when i can, it's in some ulu place where i'll be stranded and left cursing the rest of my days/existance. So me being me, i left the preparation of the presentation to the night before. Spent at least 7 hours researching this and that, and before you know it, it's time to get ready to go. Which means i didn't sleep the night la. So sleepless me = hopeless me, end up screwing the presentation and now hoping against hope that they at least liked my points and my personality enough to want to hire me instead of another guy who's vying for the same position.

Still had the presence of mind to take a picture of the map in case i got lost. Still got lost.



The issue of relationships became more pertinent in the past few weeks though they involve my friends, not me directly. At least this time i can say "I know what you mean" or "I know how it feels". It sucks when shitty things happen in relationships but they do. Even the sturdiest ones can just crumble all of a sudden. All from these tiny cracks we've failed to notice in the past, or just papered over 'cause they seemed so tiny and harmless. But when you fall, you fall hard. And you cry over all the cuts and the bruises and the aches. Then you're done crying and you get up and you move on again. You have to.

As for me, i'm just waiting i think. For what? Who knows. Waiting for things to fall in place i guess. Waiting for good things to happen to me. Waiting for Lady Luck to smile on me. Waiting for the Big One up there to say "Hey, let's throw you some good fortune for a change" (no religious lecture please). Ok, my life's not that bad la. But i could do with getting some of the things i want. I know i know, the grass is always greener on the other side.

"You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need"

Freedom o'clock?

"Students you must stop writing now. Put your question paper bla bla....."

10 seconds later.

"My apologies students. You have 3 more minutes".

There had to drama before my final (hopefully) paper in the university, of which i've spent 4 and a half years of my life studying something that, i never really had an interest in in the first place. But i stuck to it, mainly 'cause my ego won't let me quit halfway into the course. Little known fact: my parents did offer me a get-out-of-jail(engineering course) card after my first semester but i was like "No way. And be seen as a quitter?" Not on yer life.

So now here i am, hoping for the best. In truth the paper wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but not to say i studied very hard for this paper also la. So it's 50-50. Some guys were pretty stressed out after the paper, so i'm kinda worried. Well, all i can do now is pray and pray and pray. Failing another paper would just be unthinkable. But then i'll be able to play basketball for the uni again. Hahaha.

*slaps self* Unthinkable!

Life's full of worrisome stuff, don't you think? Now that the finals are out of the way, i'll have to worry about the results, graduation and a job. I'm pretty tempted to take the Prai job (that is if i get it la) mainly 'cause it's the only job available to me right now. Granted, i've been picky in applying for jobs, but there are some pretty shiddy jobs on offer right now. And this coming from me. Mr Anything Goes-lah. I just want to earn money as soon as possible, even if it takes me far from home. I'm just trying to figure out what i can sacrifice, what i can't. And if there's anything worth staying for. A "wise" friend once said: "There are always reasons to leave, never any to stay". Which is kinda true now. What if i pass on something great? Or will i just be miserable in a new and foreign place just like i (kinda) was when i was in Melbourne?

Decisions decisions..

I'll have to think a whole lot more. But let's not get ahead of ourselves la. I still haven't passed through the final stage of the interview yet. Once they start asking technical questions i should just excuse myself to save me from embarassment. Right now i just want to focus on having a lil breather, some drinks, hanging out with the familiar and unfamiliar, and play me some basketball!

"Is it time? Is it freedom o'clock?"

Liven it up

Too many word-y posts going on in this page. It gets pretty dull and depressing. So here are a few pictures of things i didn't/haven't talked about. Haven't been whipping out the camera in a long time. Maybe it's 'cause my camera's not as canggih as the others'.

S.O.I.

I did it. I finally did it. I finally deleted the games from my laptop. So no more spider solitaire, no more endless hours of distraction, no more trying to beat my own high score. Not sure what made me do it, but i thought enough is enough. It's time to get down to work. Pray i don't get addicted to any online or facebook games.

I was re-reading my previous posts recently, something i do from time to time. Found so many grammar mistakes i wanted to go back in time and slap my old self. This coming from the "Best English Student for PMR 2001" (ok i'm bragging a bit). Besides the mistakes, i was also pretty amazed at how dedicated i was (if only for a semester) in getting good results. That was during my first semester in Australia. And it got me wondering - where has all the dedication and enthusiasm gone? Granted i'm not the best student, i struggle just to reach average-dom. But after that semester i actually had pretty okay results.

So this is my statement of intent (S.O.I.). I need to do much better this semester to pull my grades up in hopes of getting my honours. And what better time to do it than this semester, where i've only got two subjects to worry about? Plus there's no final year project to deal with. This should be my time.

Not sure how this realisation came about. Maybe it's because i've been applying for jobs and haven't gotten any. Or maybe because i've come to know a few pretty dedicated, "outstanding" students this semester especially. Not sure. But what i'm sure of is that i don't want to be a one trick pony, who's only good at sports. Sports playing i'm not worried about, i've got plenty of opportunities. Maybe i've got my priorities all screwed up. But i hope it's not too late to change all that, and i'm bent on changing my ways. Not drastically of course, 'cause then i may just lose interest and motivation after awhile. Bit by bit, step by step. I can do this.

In other news, i was driving home from yamcha-ing with a friend today and i was listening to the radio. So this caller, a mom, was telling the deejay how much she misses her daughter who's so far away from her. Then she proceeds to dedicate a song to her beloved and much missed daughter. Her song dedication?

Pitbull's Hotel Room Service.

Is it any wonder

I.. I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
be living in the kingdom of the good and true and so on
But now I think I was wrong
and you were laughing along
And now I look a fool for thinking you were on...

My side,
Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?

Sometimes it's hard to know where I stand,
it's hard to know where I am,
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm
stranded in the wrong time
where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme, a soundbite

Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
Oh, these days, after all the misery made,
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?

Nothing left inside this old cathedral,
just the sad, lonely spires,
How do you make it right?

Oh, but you try,
Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
Oh, these days, after all the misery made,
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?

-Keane-

It's like the song was written for me.