Older by the minute

This blog has become a virtual attic - abandoned and left to collect (virtual) dust. Maybe not so virtual, cos my laptop's pretty dusty. Anyhoo i've decided to write a post because:

a) I have some spare time on my hands (actually i don't really, but the other things i don't wanna do so much)
b) I wanna gauge how much erosion my command of the language has undergone (this is me trying to be fancy)

So i turned 26 recently, and immediately i have a list in mind:

i) Back
ii) Knees
ii) Leg
iv) Ankles
v) Jaw
vi) Heart/lungs

In case you were wondering, that's a list of my current ailments (just add a "Bad" at the start of each item). The heart/lung part is surely due to my being unfit so that can be resolved - if i show some resolve. So yeah, growing old sucks. When did i cross the line from growing up to just plain growing old? No one sent me that memo. Aches, bruises, cuts - all part of the process of playing basketball thinking you're an 18 year old. 18 was 8 years ago. I just depressed myself.

What else has been going on since the blog abandonment which was followed by the glut of spammers on my chatbox (cue more useless stuff on said box)? I'm 2 weeks into my third job in 2 years. Which is back in a factory, which was the area i wanted out of in the first place. But life's unpredictable eh. My thoughts were that it's something i have some experience in, something i can build on, plus there's the issue of the need for more money. So hopefully no more moving around cos there's only so much farewell and induction lunches i can have in a lifetime.

Personal life's good. I'm glad to have an excellent support system around me who tell me lies to fuel my delusions. And when they do tell me the truth, i just block them out.

I think i'll stop here for now. Words don't flow as easily when you're rusty.

Double take

Taking this photo reminded me of another photo way back...

Only now i have better hair, not so pimply faced, and rounder.

But still can't pose for a photo.

My movie tastes

Just watched this movie last night:

Quite outdated i know. But i like lah.

Anyways the point is, i like the show. I know it leans more towards the romcom genre, but i think it's a nice deviation from the other movies of similar genre. First, it's a movie about a guy trying to get over a girl, instead of trying to get the girl. Secondly, he doesn't get the girl back. And finally, the girl's not that hot. Always wanted to watch the movie, and finally i did.

It's funny how this movie suddenly got me blogging again. I think it's 'cause it brought me back to the days when i was this artsy movie wannabe, trying to be deep and meaningful. But it's true, i do like this kind of movies. Movies like Juno, Lars and the Real Girl; just my type of shows. It's not a Fast5, neither is it a (what's a popular romcom)... Valentine's Day. *shrugs*

I remember the days when the shows i watch determine my mood for the day/week. I watch a show when someone dies, i think i should do something meaningful with my life before i expire. I watch a movie where a couple breaks up and finds "true love" someplace else, i go "maybe i should do that". And it goes on and on. I attribute that to youth, and stupidity. Nowadays i just watch a movie for what it is: a movie. I think that's down to experience and the fact that i'm getting older.

Or maybe i'm getting more shallow.

Keeping my word

This is me keeping my promise to post something before 12am. With a good 9 minutes to go.

Life's not to bad so far. The girlfriend, a new career role, basketball, friends. And of course something i thought i'd never do. No matter how small scale. Not telling till it comes out.

Till the next post.

And no, this won't be done annually.

Checking in 2011

Hopefully i can sneak this post in by the time people read this page and tell me that i haven't blogged in awhile and tell me i should start updating my page again. And by "people" i really mean "person". You know who you are.

Reason i'm blogging: Australian Open final's going on and the guy i'm sorta rooting for is playing like crap, so i have free time. Took me awhile to get started though, 'cause i always have plenty to do (sleep, PS3, sleep, PS3) so no time to update. Last time i counted i had at least 4 things to do other than blogging. I remember a time when blogging was all the rage, back before micro-blogging and twitter came into the world. Now it's no longer "cool" to write out your thoughts/events/prejudices in a page, instead do it in short bursts 'cause our attention spans are that limited. I know it's true 'cause my attention span's pretty short. That's why it takes me hours or even days to write up a post. But no, i don't have twitter and no, i don't despise people with twitter accounts - mainly 'cause the girlfriend has one.

If it's not too late, i'll recount my 2010 now. It isn't, 'cause i am.

2010 was a pretty weird year i guess. There was the almost-year-long experience of being employed by people who don't make waffles:


Basketball:

Hangin' with the guys:


And then there was this:

Me in a Santa hat. How bruising to the ego.

Oh yeah. Also, that's ze girlfriend. Making me wear that Santa hat.

That was basically 2010 in a nutshell. Actually it isn't, but:

1. I've got no more photos to steal from Facebook
2. It's been about 7 hours since i started writing this post, so the interest has faded considerably

So i end this post with the hope that i'll write more, but no guarantees there. I think i've lost the motivation to put in words how i feel and what i've experienced. But hey, life's unpredictable.

Here's to 2011.

Stop and stare

It had been too long since i visited the gym. I thought since i'm playing futsal and basketball with more regularity now, skipping the workouts was reasonable. But i forget that the playing of futsal and basketball was at a pedestrian pace; and when i tried upping the tempo i'd just run out of breath, thinking "where's my stamina?". Answer: In the gym. Go and get it.

So off i went to the gym, after what must have been a 3 month hiatus. And i did surprisingly well, considering my fit-less-ness. One contributing factor to going to the gym: the upcoming company sports carnival, in which i've joined the futsal competition. So anyways, back to my main point. I digress plenty.

I had finished my treadmill run and was doin' a Berbatov impersonation (read:snail-like pace) on the bikes while watching the TV. I had noticed then a jolly woman walking in to the gym. Not pretty, so i continued with the bike and TV-watching. Then jolly woman walks up to the treadmill and starts doin' her power walk. At this point i was just concentrating more on TV and less on bike. Then after awhile jolly woman's phone rings and she answers it like she wants to do a tele-conference with the gym community. So naturally i looked in her direction to find out if i should be taking down minutes.

No? Back to the telly.

Then..

Loud thud.

I see jolly woman on her belly in front of the treadmill. My excellent skills of deduction told me that she must have stopped in her tracks when answering her calls, and the unforgiving treadmill just pushed her down. I think i was the only one who saw it. My reaction? Look around to see if others had seen the incident and hoping someone would help the poor lady. Except they didn't. I didn't. Less-jolly lady stands up and starts running on the treadmill. Awkwardly. Even though i couldn't see it, i could sense her crying, ashamedly, and in a substantial amount of pain. Naturally, i'd be in pain if i fell like that too.

My point is, all i did was just stared at the whole incident like i was watching a show. And did nothing. Except just hope that someone else would help her. Don't get me wrong, i'm not heartless. I felt extremely bad and guilty at not helping the poor lady. Yet the only part of my body that moved was my head, looking around to see if anyone can help her.

Herein lies my problem. I don't respond well when it comes to helping people. Then i'll feel guilty as hell after that. It's happened before. Once while i was pumping petrol a guy approaches me and asks me for some money to help him cross the Penang bridge (RM7 to cross) 'cause he's forgotten something from the island. I didn't really know what to do, so i went with my first instinct - went to my coin department and gave the guy all the coins i got. He took it with an expression that's a combination of "wow, this is all?" and "damn it, i still need it". I went home guilty. Still feel the guilt.

I think it's all the pessimism in me. That people are rarely genuine, and that appreciation is hard to come by. It's something i'm working hard on to change. I need to work on my reflexes, to make sure i'm ready to help, even if it's just being the first person to get up and give up my seat on the bus. Give me some time.

And hope i kick ass in futsal tomorrow.

Inspire me

Recently there was an opportunity presented to me to leave this place for the comfort of home; only catch is i had to beat 2-3 other persons to it. Yes, i'm talking about a vacant position. So i went for 2 rounds of interviews, thought i did pretty well to get the call, tell everyone to prepare to play some ball/yamcha/carpool/drink/meet up/spend quality time and then came the news: didn't get it.

I'll admit, i was heartbroken. Suddenly hot flashes of tears rolled down my eyes when i read that e-mail. I didn't know why. Not that i was really passionate 'bout the job. I think it was 'cause i've managed to convince everyone, especially myself that i'd be heading home soon. I was thinking of things like how i'd tell my boss, how to pack my things, which to bring along and which to leave behind. I even told the girlfriend the night before that i sensed a big upheaval in my life and that i was really positive about it. Serves me right for being so.... naive?

Anyways what's done is done. Now that i'm staying (at least) awhile longer, i've got to make do with what i have. And what i have is still a pretty darn good job. And good colleagues who i take advantage of sometimes. Not physically. Couple that with the fact that we've got this big presentation coming up really soon. I'm actually excited about that. Holy crap. I'm actually excited about something related to my current job? Get me to the nearest hospital. Stat.

What this whole experience has taught me, is that i have people who care about me. Even if sometimes i make a shitty acquaintance. There's this friend who calls me to ask me (in his own manner less way) if i had gotten the job, or another friend who called me before the interviews, or this friend who calls me just to tell me to wait another day for the news. Then of course, there's the girlfriend, who just puts a (virtual) arm around my shoulders and tell me everything's gonna be okay.

To all of you out there, you guys inspire me to do better. And i'll do better, damn it. When i was young i always thought i was destined for greater things. I think it was 'cause i watched too much cartoon. But i know now that greater is not necessarily restricted to wearing a mask and a cape, fighting crime. Greater can mean bouncing back from a huge disappointment. Greater can mean completing that job you've set out to do. Or greater can just mean constantly improving yourself, bit by bit. By bit.

But i will get what i want.

I got you, didn't i?