Setbacks

You know how it's bad to keep everything bottled in, for fear that one day you might just explode? This is me trying to avoid that by purging out whatever frustration i'm enduring right now. So i don't go crazy one day. No guarantees though.

Before that, a brief moment of pride/happiness (it'll relate to my story later). My parents decided -through no urging of mine - to get me a new handphone as my graduation cum birthday present. Now we all know what happened to my last new handphone, so i'm trying to be as careful and protective of the new phone as i can. Oh, and it's a Nokia 5530 by the way. Not gonna take a picture of it. Don't wanna jinx it.

Another prelude to the story. My apartment. It's a decent one, a good start as a first-time-living-on-my-own apartment. Thing is, it doesn't have an air cond or a heater. And no, i can't install them 'cause i'm not allowed to make holes on the wall. Also, the apartment was unfurnished when i got it, so i got some furniture just before i moved in. Since i'm so cheap, i agreed on a single bed with an ultra thin mattress, and on those cloth cupboards. End result, sleep's uncomfortable and cupboard fell apart.

Now i can begin. So 2 weeks ago my mom found an ad on the paper on some bedroom set on the cheap. They have a store near my place, so i decided to go get the set. On the way there, i was already thinking of how to move my old furniture, what day is best for them to send the furniture over, and my method of payment. When i got there, the sales person told me that that promotion was for that week only. I guess it's not surprising that shops do that - promote something without really disclosing the nature of the promotion, then put a itsy bitsy disclaimer at the bottom of their ads. So i walked away disappointed.

Since that furniture shop was beside a hypermarket, i thought i'd go get my new handphone a casing, since it's already got tiny scratches on it's back and knowing how clumsy i am that might not be all that will endure. So the hypermarket's got 4 handphone shops. NONE of it has the casing for my phone.

At that moment, i suddenly got so dejected. Was so down i sat in my car for what felt like an eternity, head on steering wheel, eyes closed. Don't know why, but i was really down. Then i stared getting angry at my whole situation, what necessitated my need to get furniture and handphone cover at this kampung of a place. How (i think) i'm pretty polite to people and yet get scowls in return. How (i think again) i'm always the nice guy and always at the losing end. I was just pissed off at everything and anything. I was so pissed off i remember thinking the next guy who honks at me will be asking for a confrontation.

I don't know how these two really minor things got me real agitated, but they did. I figure it's more of an accumulation of minor setbacks that got me to this point. So now i'm hoping for something good to happen unexpectedly, just to restore some balance. But not i'm expecting for something unexpected, so that won't really work.

Bottom line, i just need to learn to deal with setbacks better. I'm trying.