Stop and stare

It had been too long since i visited the gym. I thought since i'm playing futsal and basketball with more regularity now, skipping the workouts was reasonable. But i forget that the playing of futsal and basketball was at a pedestrian pace; and when i tried upping the tempo i'd just run out of breath, thinking "where's my stamina?". Answer: In the gym. Go and get it.

So off i went to the gym, after what must have been a 3 month hiatus. And i did surprisingly well, considering my fit-less-ness. One contributing factor to going to the gym: the upcoming company sports carnival, in which i've joined the futsal competition. So anyways, back to my main point. I digress plenty.

I had finished my treadmill run and was doin' a Berbatov impersonation (read:snail-like pace) on the bikes while watching the TV. I had noticed then a jolly woman walking in to the gym. Not pretty, so i continued with the bike and TV-watching. Then jolly woman walks up to the treadmill and starts doin' her power walk. At this point i was just concentrating more on TV and less on bike. Then after awhile jolly woman's phone rings and she answers it like she wants to do a tele-conference with the gym community. So naturally i looked in her direction to find out if i should be taking down minutes.

No? Back to the telly.

Then..

Loud thud.

I see jolly woman on her belly in front of the treadmill. My excellent skills of deduction told me that she must have stopped in her tracks when answering her calls, and the unforgiving treadmill just pushed her down. I think i was the only one who saw it. My reaction? Look around to see if others had seen the incident and hoping someone would help the poor lady. Except they didn't. I didn't. Less-jolly lady stands up and starts running on the treadmill. Awkwardly. Even though i couldn't see it, i could sense her crying, ashamedly, and in a substantial amount of pain. Naturally, i'd be in pain if i fell like that too.

My point is, all i did was just stared at the whole incident like i was watching a show. And did nothing. Except just hope that someone else would help her. Don't get me wrong, i'm not heartless. I felt extremely bad and guilty at not helping the poor lady. Yet the only part of my body that moved was my head, looking around to see if anyone can help her.

Herein lies my problem. I don't respond well when it comes to helping people. Then i'll feel guilty as hell after that. It's happened before. Once while i was pumping petrol a guy approaches me and asks me for some money to help him cross the Penang bridge (RM7 to cross) 'cause he's forgotten something from the island. I didn't really know what to do, so i went with my first instinct - went to my coin department and gave the guy all the coins i got. He took it with an expression that's a combination of "wow, this is all?" and "damn it, i still need it". I went home guilty. Still feel the guilt.

I think it's all the pessimism in me. That people are rarely genuine, and that appreciation is hard to come by. It's something i'm working hard on to change. I need to work on my reflexes, to make sure i'm ready to help, even if it's just being the first person to get up and give up my seat on the bus. Give me some time.

And hope i kick ass in futsal tomorrow.